Being Bored
I’ve prided myself on not really getting bored. Today I realized that I only don’t get bored if I think of boredom from a specific viewpoint. My classic picture of boredom feels exaggerated, exhaustive, and hopeless. It paints a picture of me as a kid slamming my fist down on my bed and yelling at my mom that I’m bored and there’s nothing to do. But what about when we scroll on our phone more than we want to? When we reach out to others as a means of entertaining us? When we shift our environment as a reaction to our self-limiting beliefs? When we use being social, drugs, sex, etc. as coping mechanisms? Really when we find any activity that distracts us from ourselves or our task at hand...?
One could argue that anytime I’m not creating the discipline to pursue what I truly desire there’s room for more engagedness and therefore I’m showing signs of boredom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying being on one’s phone or getting lost in dance on a psychedelic evening are bad things whatsoever. Nor am I saying that one should even strive to eliminate the type of “boredom” I’m talking about from one’s life. The sentiment more so is to become aware what’s a function of boredom, and what is truly aligned to self.
Our lives present a wide array of experiences, and it is through those experiences that we learn about ourselves. As we go, we home in on the type of experiences we subject ourselves to. My reflection today in this realization is that we should be doing so consciously. Or at least I want to be doing it consciously, I know that. I want to be mindful in how and why I spend my time so that not only am I giving myself the best opportunity for fulfillment, but that I’m constantly learning and revising and growing in my ability shift my course.
I have a paper due for school today, which for me is the most apt environment for procrastination, and thus “boredom.” I recognize that about myself and I accept it in all the ways that I do. In being mindful about it, I’m more prone to tracking where my mind goes when I’m procrastinating. In creating this awareness, I can then survey what are good uses of my time and what are not.
This arc of thoughts is what happened this morning and what led me to sit here and write. I only had twenty minutes before something I had scheduled, and therefore it wasn’t effective to try to get into a school flow. In viewing the alternatives I quickly created for myself, I realized my own momentary “boredom.” Instead of doing something mundane to pass the time I chose this path. Which I feel is in alignment with myself right now. If I had determined that the thing most in alignment was watching a TV show I would have watched a TV show, and that would have been fine. But creating the dialogue was what allowed me to be conscious in my choice and ensure I’m supporting myself as much as I can.
Thumbnail photo - Vinicius "amnx" Amano
