Merging Selves

The following was written for my Body Consciousness class.

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While I still worked in my corporate job a few years ago I recognized a huge gap between my public self and private self. As in, work Zach was very different than home/social/family Zach. Based on this, I broadened my understanding of how to carry myself with authenticity as much as possible. This was a large factor in finally making the decision to leave that job - I didn't feel like I could or wanted to be authentic within it. Learning about oneself is an endless journey and thus it’s a huge disservice to ourselves to not live as close to authentic as possible as often as possible.

There is a gap between our inner and outer worlds. Reducing this gap strikes me as the next level in authentically navigating the world. Being in touch enough to identify our “secret lives,” and then vulnerable enough to share. Seemingly the most important of endeavors.

Today was a weird day. My landlord messaged my housemate and I and said he was planning on moving back into his house in January, thus kicking us out. Out of the blue I felt as though my world flipped upside down. I’ve been through a lot since I moved into this house and am realizing how reliant I’ve been on the solid foundation it’s provided. Knowing I must leave has brought up all sorts of existential questioning and mental/emotional loops I’ve been stuck in all day.

Exploring these concepts within myself to get clearer on them and then writing about them is a form of caring for myself. It’s a way to allow ease and authenticity in my world and feels really good. It allows me to show up for myself and more appropriately balance giving myself space with getting on with my day. And ultimately, since I can write about it for an assignment, it does both at the same time :)

Thumbnail photo – Chiara F